PRESS RELEASE: America's Next Popp Model announces Oakley, MoviePass, and Quiznos as official sponsors

Pig’s Eye, Minn. (August 25, 2022) – Sunglasses simps, film freaks, sandwich scarfers, and fantasy football fans just scored a major touchdown. Today America's Next Popp Model formally announces Oakley, MoviePass, and Quiznos as official sponsors of the fantasy football franchise.

"We are thrilled to be launching pioneering alliances with these three world-renowned brands. These partnerships will allow us to continue to bring the club closer to the fans and make them feel all the more a part of the Next Popp Model family," said America's Next Popp Model Founder/Owner/President/Head Coach Chris P****** A******. "We continue to take steps forward in this new era and demonstrate, once again, the innovative character and the constant search of excellence that distinguishes America's Next Popp Model as the most unique club in the world."

The sponsorships kick off this fall with new co-branded campaigns featuring America's Next Popp Model talent and personalities, allowing fans to enjoy four of America's favorite things -- shades, silver screens, subs and fantasy football.

Oakley: Official Helmet Visor and Non-Prescription Sunglasses Partner
"Oakley fans are football fans. Our sports performance equipment and lifestyle pieces have always been the perfect game day drip, so we are proud to make the connection official with this partnership." -Chuckurd Bronson, Chief Marketing Officer of Oakley

MoviePass: Official Subscription-Based Movie Ticketing Partner
"We are a brand that prides ourselves on making it easier for fans and for athletes to be a little happier every day. Win or lose, going to see a blockbuster on the big screen is the greatest post-game tradition." -Stacy Spikes, Founder and reestablished Owner of MoviePass

Quiznos: Official Toasted Submarine Sandwich Partner
"Quiznos is excited to make this and every future football season, toasted sub season. We're synergizing millions of sandwich combinations with the best fantasy football team on the planet, you just know that shit's about to be fucking fire" -Spongmonkey Vince, Hall of Fame Spokescreature of Quiznos

PRESS RELEASE: America’s Next Popp Model Name Mike Zimmer Assistant Head Coach

Pig’s Eye, Minn. (August 22, 2022) – America’s Next Popp Model have named Mike Zimmer as the first assistant head coach in franchise history. Coming off a nearly .500 season, Zimmer joins America’s Next Popp Model after serving as the head coach for the Minnesota Vikings the past eight seasons.

"We are ecstatic to add Mike as assistant head coach," said America’s Next Popp Model Founder/Owner/President/Head Coach Chris P****** A******. "He is an impressive and respected leader with a tremendous football IQ. America’s Next Popp Model fans should be excited for the future of this team."

Mike Zimmer started his coaching career at the collegiate level from 1979 to 1993 before entering the NFL with the Cowboys in 1994. He served as defensive coordinator in Dallas (2000-2006), Atlanta (2007), and Cincinnati (2008-2013). In 2014, Zimmer was hired to his first NFL head coach role by Minnesota. Zimmer's tenure in Minnesota will be remembered for his no-nonsense approach, despite only winning a pair of NFC North titles and a measly total of three playoff appearances.

"Last season, I was not able to achieve the organization's championship goals because of my efforts to fight exploitation orchestrated by a certain member of this league,” said P****** A******. “Mike will enable America’s Next Popp Model to excel on the fantasy field while I handle high-level decisions and continue to battle against league tyrants. Namely Pat."

"I greatly appreciate the P****** A****** family and the entire America’s Next Popp Model organization for providing the opportunity of a lifetime," said Zimmer. "This is a franchise with a deep history and a tremendous fan base. We're committed to working tirelessly to bring them a championship."

Petition to ban Pat from the league 2022 - Post #3

Post by Chris (America's Next Popp Model)

I want to extend a warm welcome to the new league members. It's incredibly gratifying to witness the global prestige of America's Next Popp Model attracting new talent to the league and increase the overall value of what we are building together. But, while seeing this league grow is wonderful, we must also remember that there is a tyrannical parasite at the center that can pollute the minds of the newest team owners. 

My private investigators have put in hours of surveillance and assure me that both Brownie and Brian are honorable men, not likely to be corrupted by a scoundrel like Pat. The same can not be said for Saltzy. Pat and Saltzy are the two most conniving people I have had the misfortune of meeting. It pains me to say it but cheating seems inevitable this season. There are too many snakes in the grass. 

However, Saltzy doesn't deserve to be treated with contempt quite yet. We, the good people of this league, need to keep a vigilant eye on Saltzy's activity and act swiftly when we see him step out of line. It's a disturbing thought but Saltzy has the potential to be as big a threat to liberty as Pat. And I don't say that lightly.

¡Bienvenidos rookies!
Enjoy the welcome video

PRESS RELEASE: The Next Era of America's Next Popp Model Launches with New Logo and Brand Identity

Pig’s Eye, Minn. (August 17, 2022) – America's Next Popp Model announced today a complete rebrand and business transformation focused on the club's commitment to impact, inclusivity, and innovation.

"We are extremely excited to launch this rebrand focused on our vision to become a winning team and our dedication to be bold, edgy, powerful," said America’s Next Popp Model Founder/Owner/President/Head Coach Chris P****** A******. 

"Our rebrand will showcase America's Next Popp Model as a dynamic, energetic and a forward-looking organization. The campaign demonstrates our commitment to be a leader in our community. We are proud to introduce a new look that is truly representative of us leaving our mistakes in the past and entering a brand new age.”

A marketing campaign to promote the America's Next Popp Model rebrand consisting of billboard, TV, radio, digital and print advertising will run throughout the season.

About the Franchise's First Primary Logo

 

The new logo was designed by contemporary artist Shepard Fairey. As always, we listened to our incredibly loyal and passionate fans to create an image that supports our renewed culture, energy, enthusiasm, and optimism.

The unique, iconic, and distinctive "Hot Babe" is facing forward to represent looking forward and the hope for a better future. The "Football Helmet" is yellow with purple, highlighting the franchise's love for the great sport of football and our beautiful new primary colors.

America's Next Popp Model new visual identity is a symbolic turning of the page to the next era of the fantasy football franchise.

Petition to ban Pat from the league 2022 - Post #2

Post by Chris (America's Next Popp Model)

 

"Reincarnation is not something that occurs at death; it is something that takes place at every moment. Death and rebirth are occurring every second." -Cooper Manning

 

By now most of you are aware that I will be returning to Gin and Chronic for the 2022 Season. I am excited to hit the ground running but there are a few things I need to address before moving forward.    

 

It’s with the heaviest heart that I announce the termination of the Fantasy Football League, The New Sunday. What was once a beautiful dream for an ethical league is now nothing more than a failed attempt to fly. I cannot, with a clear conscience, continue to associate with the league’s founding members due to their involvement in global conflicts that threaten the future of peace on our planet. I labored over the dilemma of continuing with Vladimir Putin or rejoining a league that harbors a dastardly fiend like Pat, but eventually concluded it is slightly more advantageous battling the devil I know over the devil I don't.

That said, I demand that action be taken to limit Pat’s influence over this league. Although none of you are willing to stand with me in banning Pat from the league, I ask that at the very least you join me in imposing strict sanctions against Pat.

Initial Sanction Recommendations:

a) It is clear to everyone that last season’s leadership colluded with Pat. In light of his corrupt and treacherous actions, Commissioner Valdes must step down as league commissioner. Non-negotiable. We will find someone with superior morality and strength of character to oversee our league.

b) Last season Pat corrupted my star receiver, Calvin Ridley, into becoming a degenerate gambler who wound up missing most of his 2021 games and receiving a season-long ban for 2022. As a consequence, I demand that Pat be obligated to select Calvin Ridley in the first three rounds of our draft and have him occupy a roster spot all season. Let the two cheats continue their nefarious relationship and wallow in misery together.

 

c) Due to the covert issues of last season, Pat must offer fellow league members more transparency into his fantasy football activities. This can be met by requiring Pat to give 24-hour notice to all league members prior to any roster alterations (e.g. wavier pickups, trades, player selection, etc.)

I am thrilled to rejoin this league and hopeful for the brighter future we can form together!

Petition to ban Pat from the league 2022 - Post #1

Pig’s Eye, Minn. (August 8, 2022) – The following statement was released today by Christopher P****** A******, through his personal attorney Benjamin Leighton Matlock, in response to questions about his future career plans:

"I'm back."