Monday, September 26, 2022

Petition to ban Pat from the league 2022 - Post #7

Post by Mike Zimmer (America's Next Popp Model)

We're finally out of the starting gate. Feels pretty hallow that the first win came from the village bicycle but it would have felt unbearable losing to that team. Against real opposition we'll need to do better because poor player selection keeps haunting this team.

We missed out on 34.4 points this weekend in the RB2 and FLEX slot. I kept saying we needed to start Jamaal Williams and Russell Gage but The Head Coach said the projections didn't agree. I don't see the point in hiring an expert like me if you're just going to ignore my advice and rely on aggregated projections to guide you but that's a decision for this franchise's front office to make.  

Yet another huge divisional match-up coming up this weekend. The playoffs are there for the taking and we need to seize the opportunity by beating out our playoff competition when we face them head-to-head. I got a feeling our boys are up for the fight.

Looking around at the rest of the league, I got to admit that I'm developing a soft spot in my heart for the Password is Taco team. The manager was finally able to realize that Aaron Rodgers has become a washed-out shell of his former self ever since his experimentation with ayahuasca. It took real guts for the manager to come to terms with the fact that the Packers no longer have an elite QB capable of running a fantasy football offense. Keep betting against Packers players and I'm sure this will be the first of many wins. We're both back in the ring after a standing eight count. Let's keep swinging!

Thursday, September 22, 2022

Sponsor Spotlight: Quiznos & Greg Joseph

Sponsored Content Presented by Quiznos

Hey everyone! Greg Joseph, starting kicker of America's Next Popp Model, here to tell you about the amazing toasted submarine sandwiches available at your local Quiznos.

What I love most about Quiznos is their drive and down-to-earth attitude. They're on a mission to craft inventive food with real ingredients that remind you great flavor doesn’t have to be fussy.

To celebrate Latinx Heritage Month, Quiznos is introducing the New Picante Chicken Fajita Sandwich. I enjoyed one of these limited edition sandwiches at one of my favorite Quiznos locations. The chicken to fajita ratio was extremely well balanced while filling the delightful jalapeno cheddar bread. The bold flavors had me saying "Ay papi, que rico" with every bite! A truly tasty meal that helps fuel me up during the fantasy season while honoring the proud history of the Latinx People. 

For an even quicker way to Quiznos: Order in the app and earn 1 point for every dollar spent. Sign up today and receive $5 off your first app order. Enter promo code NEXTPOPPMODEL for 5% off your purchase and a chance to go to lunch with Coach Chris & Coach Mike. 

Well, I got to rush over to Quiznos right now for yet another amazing dining experience. M'm, m'm, m'm, m'm m'm...toasty!®

Monday, September 19, 2022

Petition to ban Pat from the league 2022 - Post #6

Post by Mike Zimmer (America's Next Popp Model)

These have been the most frustrating weekends of football I've had to suffer through. Fundamentals don't mean shit when this stupid fantasy points system rewards things like Lamar Jackson getting 42 points for losing his football game. Most of this fantasy stuff really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me but I'm getting paid to do a job so I need to focus on how to make our team better.


The most obvious switch has got to be in the FLEX slot. Darnell Mooney has been awful and just blew his last shot as far as I'm concerned. His combined 2.4 points from the opening two games is a shocking return for a rostered player, let alone a goddamn starter. Thankfully, we already have a suitable replacement in our ranks. Rashod Bateman looked solid in Week 1 and proved this weekend that he deserves the start. I'm proud of Bateman keeping his nose to the grindstone and earning a spot in the starting lineup. I'm excited to see what he can provide for us in the FLEX.   


The Head Coach is always insisting that there's some sort of agenda against our team. I figured he was just being paranoid but this schedule's got me thinking he might have a point. Not only have we had to face off against division rivals in Weeks 1 and 2, our opponents ended both weekends as the highest scoring teams. Having to stack up against 329 points in the opening two matchups is a huge challenge for any team, but it doesn't change the fact that we still needed those wins. West division is filled with high scoring teams and we need to beat other playoff hopefuls if we want a real post-season. 


We face the auto-drafted team next and, I can't overstate this, the whole season hinges on this one. Got to get that win because losing would mean no shot at the playoffs, let alone the Head Coach's ridiculous championship dreams.  


Our backs are against the wall and we're going to need to fight like hell to not have our season over by the end of Week 3. 

Thursday, September 15, 2022

PRESS RELEASE: Latin America's Ñext Popp Model Celebrates Latinx Heritage Month

¡Que Onda Mi Gente! 

As a beacon of cultural inclusivity, America's Next Popp Model is excited to announce that the franchise will be kicking off Latinx Heritage Month by changing the team name to Latin America's Ñext Popp Model during this glorious celebration honoring some of the world's most picante people.

"The Gin & Chronic fantasy football league has made no effort to celebrate Latinx Heritage Month because league members are too self-involved to comprehend the significance," said America's Next Popp Model Founder/Owner/President/Head Coach Chris P****** A******. "This organization is proud to proclaim for all the Latinx world to hear that we are cis-gringo allies who will always be #PorLaCultura and #PorLaRaza"

Latinx communities have made their mark on the world of Fantasy Football, both on and off the field. Like the Latinx community, America's Next Popp Model is devoted to achieving excellence and cultivating diversity. America's Next Popp Model will always celebrate stories that elevate Latinx culture, inspire and propel youth towards their dreams, and build a unified path to greatness through sport. 

Learn more about how the ÑFL is celebrating: nfl.com/causes/porlacultura/
--------------------------------

¡Que Onda Mi Gente! 

Como modelo de inclusión cultural, America's Next Popp Model está orgullisimo de anunciar que el equipo dará inicio a 'Latinx Heritage Month' cambiando el nombre a Latin America's Ñext Popp Model durante esta celebración en honor de las personas más picantes del mundo.

"La liga de fútbol americano fantasía, Gin & Chronic, no ha hecho ningún esfuerzo para celebrar 'Latinx Heritage Month' porque los miembros de la liga son demasiado egoístas para comprender el significado", dijo el Fundador, Propietario, Presidente y Mister de America's Next Popp Model, Chris P****** A******. "Esta organización enorgullece en proclamar a todo el mundo Latinx que somos aliados ‘cis-gringos’ que siempre estará #PorLaCultura y #PorLaRaza"

Las comunidades Latinx han dejado su huella en el mundo de fútbol americano fantasía, tanto dentro como fuera de la cancha. Como la comunidad Latinx, America's Next Popp Model se dedica a lograr la excelencia y cultivar la diversidad. America's Next Popp Model siempre celebrará las historias que elevan la cultura Latinx, inspiran e empujan a los jóvenes hacia sus sueños y construyen un camino unificado hacia El Padrísimo a través del deporte. 

Ver más sobre cómo está celebrando el ÑFL: nfl.com/causes/porlacultura/

Monday, September 12, 2022

Petition to ban Pat from the league 2022 - Post #5

Post by Mike Zimmer (America's Next Popp Model)

Well, we're off to a bad start. A poor game from the first round pick, shitty FLEX decision, and stomach wrenching defensive choices. It stings even more to lose to a team dumb enough to draft a QB in the first round. The biggest lesson I learned during my career in the NFL is that QBs ain't worth shit. America's Next Popp Model won the QB battle but lost the defensive battle and, as a result, the whole match up. Proof that fundamentals like defense are more important than flashy names that sell jerseys.

A big reason I agreed to join this organization was because they drafted a defense in the 7th round last year. During the preseason, The Head Coach and I ran thousands of mock drafts where I kept stressing the need to prioritize a defense. But on the night, he ignored my phone calls and waited all the way until the 14th round to make his selection. You're really going to tell me Raheem Mostert is more valuable than a reliable defense/special teams? Don't think so. After the draft, The Head Coach started saying that we can just swap the defense each week depending on match-ups, which is exactly what fucking killed us this weekend.

Despite waiting until late in the draft, The Head Coach somehow managed to snag the Steelers D. A stroke of dumb luck that had me breathing a sigh of relief. But the next day, The Head Coach informs me we'll be dropping Pittsburgh for the Bengals D. I kept pleading with him not to do this move but he kept citing the projections and made the switch. I hate these stupid fucking projections. Sure enough, Steelers D racked up 22 points this weekend and we missed out on 18 points. Those points would have made up for The Head Coach’s first round flop and many other slip ups. I know it's only Week 1 but The Head Coach has already made a whole season's worth of mistakes. We really got to tighten things up if we're hoping to meet our goals this season.

No need to panic, we got the rest of the season to do better. We'll be ready to bounce back next weekend.

One more thought for the members of this league; Make sure you check in on whoever is running the Password is Taco team. Only 62 points from the starters and getting outscored by their own bench. That's got to hurt. Plus Rat Kings really made sure this was one of the worst beat downs I've ever seen. I really can't believe all of you were bad enough to let that person win last year, but at least it's looking like a short reign for Password is Taco. I know this is a friend league, so you ought to show some empathy for the poor manager and make sure they're doing okay.

Friday, September 9, 2022

Sponsor Spotlight: MoviePass - September

Sponsored Content Presented by MoviePass

Welcome to Mike at the Movies!

Fantasy Football is back! All your hopes and dreams for the new season are just waiting to be achieved. And just like Fantasy Football, movies connect to our spiritual soul. Both art forms are capable of making us experience a wide range of emotions, from ecstasy to heartbreak. That's why MoviePass screened a few upcoming releases for Mike Zimmer, Assistant Head Coach of America's Next Popp Model.

  • Top Gun: Maverick - 5/5 Footballs 🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈
    "Tom Cruise rules! Saw the movie at least six times this summer so I’m pumped it's getting rereleased in theaters. Run, don't walk to your closest theater [in the Chicago, Dallas, or Kansas City metro areas]!" 
  • God’s Country - 3/5 Footballs 🏈🏈🏈
    "A strong exploration of how impossible it can feel to create change in big institutions. The movie also highlighted how when systems are rigged against the people they're actually set up to support, the hopelessness of that realization can lead to bad shit. The whole thing reminded me a lot of my seasons with the Vikes."
  • Don’t Worry Darling - 1/5 Footballs 🏈
    "This one’s a hard watch. The main girl and wardrobe were pretty solid but that British singer was giving one of the worst performances I’ve seen on screen. I promise you no one, apart from that kid’s agents, told him he should start acting. End of the day, I’m on Ted Lasso’s side so that weird little homewrecker can fuck off back to whatever singing contest he came from."
Are you a Bear, Cowboy, or Chief? We want you to be a part of testing the MoviePass Beta App in Chicago, Dallas, and Kansas City. Learn more by visiting moviepass.com!

Friday, September 2, 2022

Petition to ban Pat from the league 2022 - Post #4

Post by Chris (America's Next Popp Model)

On behalf of the entire America's Next Popp Model organization, I am honored to present our 2022 Models:

Gin and Chronic Message Board - Post #9

Post by CoachZIM (America's Next Popp Model) With any luck, this season will be considered the worst one in the history of this league. ...